Tough Times Always Reveal True Friends

Tough Times Always Reveal True Friends

The Truth

Hard times will reveal true friends. Boy, isn’t that the truth? I know you’re all shaking your heads.  Tough times will show you exactly who has our back and who doesn’t.

We all know what happens: a divorce, death, illness, tragic life changing event, job loss, and the friends we imagined would be by our side are nowhere to be found. The friends we didn’t suspect would be by our side are staring back at us with warm smiles.

This article is for those of you who are going through the inner turmoil of how to handle what you perceive as a loss of friends. I want to share with you some perspective-changing thoughts that will differently about this perception.

If you can separate your friends into “Lifestyle Friends” versus “True Friends,” your world is going to change!

Lifestyle Friends

There has to be a genuine perspective shift for you to embrace this concept. If you can do it, you’re going to feel much happier!

Those friends that you imagined would come to your aid but didn’t.  They are now known as your “lifestyle friends” (they always were but you just didn’t know it). What does this mean? It means they were friends with you for your lifestyle and really enjoyed your company.

You need to realize this and not only change your perspective, but change your expectations of them. Realize that these friends of yours are actually a ton of fun, and if you recover from whatever life crisis you’re experiencing, they’ll most likely be the first ones who will invite you to visit, go on vacation, get together for dinner, etc.

Instead of being angry, be grateful that you have fun lifestyle friends to do activities with! We should all be so lucky. Holding grudges against these “friends” is only going to do you harm, because these people will never be what you need them to be. They were never those people to begin with. Once you realize this, you’ll see that you put unrealistic expectations on friends who were incapable of delivering what you needed.

True Friends

You may never know who your true friends are until life throws you an unwelcome curve ball. When this happens and the friends or family you thought would help carry you through don’t, you go through stages of grief. It’s devastating. As time passes, you can either be resentful, bitter and heartbroken, or you can be so incredibly thankful that you’ve learned a valuable life lesson.

I encourage you to do the latter. The people who DO step forward to be by your side are your true friends. You’re blessed to find out who these people are, so love them up.

Some people will never have this luxury.  In turn, they’ll spend their entire lives surrounded by people who aren’t their true friends. Be grateful and cherish your true friends, and put your effort into these relationships now.

Friends Didn’t Come To Aid

Having gone through my own crisis about 10yrs ago, I went through all of the stages of grief related to losing friends and seeing who was by my side through the struggle. I was devastated that the friends I thought would come to my aid didn’t.

For my own well being, I started to follow through with this concept of “True Friends vs. Lifestyle Friends.” Initially, it was a coping mechanism for me, but eventually I started to realize it was actually much more.

Once I was able to make a full mental and heart shift in the way I viewed my friendships, I experienced appreciation for all my friends! I now appreciate them for who they are. There’s no hidden resentment or underlying sadness. I feel blessed that I have learned this life lesson.

My true friends come first in my life. I also love my lifestyle friends, because as I heal, I love having a wider circle of friends who I can go fishing with, have dinner with or just hang out with.

Consider changing your perspective about how you view your friends during and after a time of stress. Mirror after someone that you admire and trust and I can promise you that you’ll banish an abundance of pent-up stress from your life!

About The Author:



John is a best selling author on Leadership and High Performance, Entrepreneur, Real Estate Agent, Daddy to Alexa and an all around good guy who cares deeply for changing the lives of those he touches.

Copyright 2016. All Rights Reserved

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